It's going to be tough

I am so tormented these days, caught between a feeling of a nice sea breeze blowing on my face and the feeling of being hit with a hurricane. I wouldn't consider myself bipolar but I am definitely going through a bipolar phase. I guess something just doesn't feel right in my life. Something is off-center and I can't put my finger on it.

It is an emotion that I don't know what to do with and it is frustrating me. I know I should just sink my teeth into a creative project as a distraction until I can figure out the problem but I am so bad at following through with new things that I start. I need something more immediate, quick...

I just think I need to fight this urge to be confused and angry about something that I don't even know what and mentally gear up, fill my brain with a plan and grab my 5.11 Tactical Pants and start to put it in motion. I can't afford a therapist so I need to learn to fight these mixed emotions myself. It's going to be tough but "tough" is my new middle name.