What I need...

A few things I really need:

1. a new haircut, dye job, heck a whole new head of hair (split ends are almost to China)
2. a better job; possibly in horticulture or wine tasting, you know, something less stressful
3. a nice new clear salad bowl, my sister stole my good one--jerkie
4. a new faucet in my kitchen, the damn thing has been leaking for weeks
5. a massage; preferably Swedish, performed by a tall dark man with huge muscles who speaks only Spanish because I really don't care what he has to say (is that asking too much?)